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we dont own it, it owns us

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This is brilliant! I love it - made me feel quite sad! I think you have caught the emotions and effects really well. x

Thank you! It's supposed to be sad. :) That's why they call it angst.

[Long pause while I gulp a lot and try and pretend I'm not blubbing ....]

I really love this story, Eremir, and if I didn't already love Erestor beyond all reason, I think you'd make me fall in love with him here. I like the subtle way you've let Tor and Fin be at cross-purposes with each other - Fin really doesn't remember Tor from Gondolin, does he? It's heartbreaking the way that Tor keeps remembering how much he loved Fin in Gondolin and as for

Erestor didn’t know how long he stood there, dreaming of a life that was supposed to be easier, where he didn’t have to be afraid or make difficult choices. He simply let himself be held and pretended that for those few precious moments he knew what it was like to be truly loved by someone, the way he used to think he was. But that life, that chance, was gone now. All that remained was this shell of the elf he used to love, and the shell of himself the way he used to be. They were both too different now, too far apart. It was no use dreaming. This was reality.

Slowly backing away, Erestor let go of the Noldo but refused to look at him. There were still tears swimming in his eyes, and he dared not meet the piercing blue gaze for no doubt it would drown him with pity. Instead he studied the grass and the colourful leaves, absentmindedly noticing a tiny brown spider trying to be invisible on a dried maple leaf, much like Erestor wished he could be. Change his colour and melt into the background, disappearing from the warrior’s view.

This is magical. Poor Erestor - he's held himself together for just so long but surely he can't go on much longer like this.

I almost wish I hadn't noticed your reply to a comment on the last chapter "Yes, poor, poor boys. It's gonna get worse too, if you can believe that." Now I notice that we've got another 4 chapters to go, and I'm trying not to chew my fingernails. Makes it worse that I think I know what's happening to Erestor - when you make him say
“I don’t know what is wrong with me or how to help myself. I feel like I’m falling constantly deeper down a dark hole, and there is nothing for me to grab onto. No means of escape. Nothing to pull me back up.” He shook his head. “I’m not like you. I cannot put on a smile and suddenly everything is well again.” I really know how he feels.

Hope it's not long before the next update.

Thank you so much for the comments! I know how it feels too. As I explained in the A/N, this became a very personal fic, and I poured a lot of my own emotions and quirks into Erestor. I've been in that hole, falling ever deeper and not knowing how to get up. But I did, and so will Erestor. I promise.

As for Glorfindel's memory, it will all reveal itself in time. ;)

Yes, and pity me, her poor, poor *sniffs* beta. Sitting here all alone and suffering for her art. I'm off to buy more tissues.

Glorfindel smiled. “That’s what I thought you might say. It’s all right. I’m still hoping you will talk to me some day.” The Noldo stood up and extended a hand to the advisor. “Come on. Let’s get you indoors.”

Pfft. And Erestor thinks Glorfindel doesn't remember him. 'Course he does - just in his heart, not in his head. Silly Erestor. :)

Oh, things are far from what they seem, my friend. *giggles mysteriously and runs away*

This fic is so wonderful. Poor Erestor.Why Glorfindel didn't remember him ?WOW, I will wait for the next update,anxiously.

Thank you! Glorfindel's memory will be explained eventually, don't worry. I will update as soon as my beta is done with chapter 8. :)

I absolutely love this story, even though my heart is breaking for Erestor. Off to read the next part.....

Blimey. This is what I get for being away for a week and coming back to all this wonderful, wonderful work. Off to the next one, huzzah!

PS - Well-armed with tissues...

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